The Story of David and Goliath, gamer version.

The following story is meant to be a humorous take on the David and Goliath story... so please, sit back, relax, and make sure to read the dialogue like a text-to-talk program.



*Goliath spawns on map*

Goliath: "I r uber leet, u r all gon 2 die, send 2 me ur most uber of ur uber leet n i will pwn dem, ROFL, Fight me, fight me IRL."

*miles away where David, son of Jesse tending to the flock*

Jesse: "Boi u bettur take deez munchies 2 ur bros out on da map, make sure dey are k, k?"

David: "Dun u wry, dad, i r gon b ok, brb."

*David takes food to his bros on the map. Bros r ok. David sees Goliath shouting, asks ?'s*

David: "Who r dat n00b?"

Random teammate: "Dat n00b r owning r team, he r 2 OP, King Saul r gon make lvl 80 to da leet who can kill him, free subscription, and r gon let da leet marry his daughter, but dat dun matter, lvl 80 n free subscription."

David's brother: "wat r u doin here, David, u r not tendin 2 flocks of sheep, u r 2 much of n00b to be here, do work son, dun just spectate battle...lolz"

David: "watevs, i r gun talk if i want, lol."

*Saul hears of David's wish to fight Goliath and sends for him*

David: "dun wry, Saul, I r guy who gon teach him lesson."

Saul: "ROFL, ROFL, ROFL! r u 4 realz? He iz OP, u r tiny n00b, he gon 1 shot u. ROFL ROFL ROFL."

David: "Son, I been farmin bearz n lionz since tutorial, i will 1v1 dis punk n wreck him, all da same, i haz max rep with da God of Israel, he gives me big bonus 2 pwning Philistines."

Saul: "I hope ur rite, here take deez."

*Saul offers david his armor and sword,"

David: "Deez r lvl 80 items, i r only lvl 2... but it gon b k... i will still 1 shot him."

*David equips sling n  five stone ammo from inventory. David is in lobby talking to goliath*

Goliath: Look at dis n00b, i r gon destroy u, do u even lift, bro?"

David: "da only lifting i r gon b doin, is ur fat head from ur dead carcass, ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL, 1v1 me."

Goliath: "Dat r it, i gon pwn u now... LEEEEERRRRROYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*Goliath charges*

David: "noyoulol, GG."

*david throws sling ammo, and one shots Goliath."

Random Philistine teammate: "O dang, Goliath r full RIP."

*David turns around, and says*

"gg, Philistines, gg."

*David loots Goliath's head, and takes it back to Jerusalem, and displays it in achievements*

   

(Thank you all for reading)