U.S History: According to Connor.

It may have dawned on you... that I don't like to write sad blog posts.

But I also want to write something vaguely patriotic because of tomorrow being the anniversary of 9/11...

So I have composed some snippets of a history book I would write entitled;
"My country tis of RAPTORS!"

Here are a few american events according to the book...

THE THANKSGIVING STORY:



The Mayflower landed on Plymouth and the people went out exploring in this new world...

Led by John Smith and King Richard the Lionheart, the men of the clan ventured into the forest....

it was very soon that they made an unusual discovery:



RAPTORS!!!!!!

A pack of raptors came upon John and Richard and slaughtered them all, and then followed their tracks to the settlement of Plymouth...

but the people of Plymouth were brave and steadfast in heart and there, on the slopes of Mount Doom, they fought...

They fought for hours upon hours, but the power of the Raptors are strong and they brought forth their alpha male...

it was in this moment... when all hope had faded, when the people of Plymouth took up their ballistic airstrikes...

The Raptors, the enemies of the free peoples of Plymouth, were defeated.



THE BOSTON DANCE PARTY:

During the 1700's the British Monarchy had been taxing the city of Boston quite heavily... So the people of Boston came together and formed a dance troop to combat the British monarchy via sick moves, bro.

Led by Fergie, the troop approached the Boston docks and began to break it down like Legos.

The British troops were not appeased and released the secret weapon:






RAPTORS!!!!!!!


the British troops sicked their raptors on the dancers and, unfortunately, all of them were eaten except Fergie- who managed to escape.



CUBAN RAPTOR CRISIS:

In 1962 the Soviet Union started breeding raptors in Cuba to ship over to the gulf coast of Florida and release there to wreak havoc on the U.S people. They were also going to air drop them into major cities by the 100's. The United States would be overrun by raptors in approximately 37 hours.

But U.S President, John Hammond, proposed a counter attack to his cabinet: they sent a large wooden badger full of Imperial storm troopers to the Cuban breeders as a gift...

At night, when the breeders and raptors were asleep, the storm troopers came out and miraculously acquired moderately good aim and killed all the raptors and the breeders and returned to the U.S via Star Destroyer.

The Cuban Raptor crisis was over...



More blog to AGGGGGGHHHHH!!!