Literary Rap-Off #1- Gimli vs. Hagrid

(Gimli vs. Hagrid: Battle of the Beards).

[Hagrid, Verse 1].

I'm a giant hairy man, with a gut and a wand,
gonna bring down your mountain, like Saruman,

Maybe you don't get it, I may not be headmaster,
But I'll bet you when I rap, I'm 5000 times faster.

My broom flies on propane, hater, and has a thruster,
I'm the little big horn of Moria, killing all your Custers.

Let me assure you, dawg, if my raps were a fountain,
It would be endless, like Smaug and lonely mountain.

[Gimli Verse 1]

In case you didn't know, Smaug's grass you fool,
Sitting below Dale, in the lake town pool,

I'm all of four feet tall, with a liscence to kill,
You think Moria's quiet? I'll make Hogwarts stand still.

I've got three sharp axes that I carry around,
go hide in your forest, before I chop it all down.

You're the cave troll of Hogwarts, giant and ugly,
I'm gonna cut you down, like the Mirkwood army.


[Hagrid, Verse 2]

You wanna rip on my size, I'll sit on your head,
I'll take you to my spiders, and paint my walls red.

You can't out drink me, It's the ale I command,
It's shutting down Moria's Mithril via supply and demand.

I guess you could say, I stole this rap like a robber,
Get used to losing after the Elves got you clobbered.

[Gimli, Verse 2]

This ain't over, fatty, I'm about to take your lore,
Get ready to watch it fall, like Albus Dumbledore.

You got nothing on this dwarf, you got nothing but acts,
I'm the real bearded G, bring your face to my axe!

Now I'm all jacked up, and rarin' for a fight,
You ready Hagrid? You're dinin' in the mountain tonight.