The Tolkien Rap

(My Tribute to the master of Fantasy Fiction)

I'm a World War Veteran and an Oxford scholar,

Kickin it in rivdendell poppin my collar.

I wrote nine languages just for my books,

Hobbits, punk, Gamgees, Harfoots and Tooks,

My name strikes fear in the heart of the hater,

I've got Rowling in a chokehold, like a british darth vader.

What you got on me? I'm the king of this game!

I'll send you back to Hogwarts to a grave with no name.

So go ahead and bring on your best,

I'm a master professor, scoring 400 on tests.

I wrote the hobbit in the trenches of the great war,

Layin siege to germany like Rhun on Gondor.

A summary of Tolkien in 5 five words or less

"Playa-hatin duke of fantasy," I roll with the best.

Chillin with The Inklings, dishing out the words

We make the roman senate look like a bunch of nerds.

I'm like a freaking wizard, dawg, you'll be nothin but grass

When I throw my staff down and say ,"YOU SHALL NOT PASS."

I don't have much more that I've got to say,

maybe other than this: "Papa John is here to stay."

Cause I'm about to bring the elvish tengwar to sindarin,

But you can't outwrite me cause I'm JRR Tolkien!